If you have different set of friends and some of them don't get along all too well, it becomes difficult to 'coordinate' your schedule. And specially when you are in good terms with all of them, it is hard to detach yourself from the conversations that may turn harsh or rude in some way or the other. No matter if the arguments or the comments are justified, the position you find yourself in is awkward to say the least. It is like you find excuses to be out of the conversation or to give out any reaction. How do you react? I have no clue whatsoever. I tend to move about here and there if I have the freedom of space around me. In case we are all seating in a restaurant or a place like that, then it is somewhat hard to do so. It is in such a situation that it is hard to hide your discomfort. The best you can do is to hope that the conversation ends soon and you don't have to bear the torture for long.
I have found myself in such a situation many a times. The discomfort and the weirdness is to be felt to be known. And when it gets a bit too much, I interrupt very frankly and suggest we talk about something else. Sometimes the request is complied to so very promptly that the awkwardness ends in just a matter of a minute or so. At other times it leads to a series of comments that would be targeted at me being the 'good' friend or the 'real' pal of the person concerned and how I would always advocate for rather than against him/her. I take it as it is, knowing fully that at least it would in a way put an end to the odd feeling in me.
Misunderstandings can be solved sometimes. At other times when it has escalated to a point of bitterness and intolerance nothing can be done. One then has to just cope with the bitterness, somehow or the other. Even though one would have wished for things to be otherwise, that at least both sides talked it out somehow or made an effort to clear the misunderstandings and the doubts. Sometimes it is just a wishful thinking and one can only pray at some point in time in the near or far future, things are normal again. It is strange how things concerning two people can change so much in your own life! Especially when you have had no role in the 'breaking up' of the ties. If your friends are understanding to the fact that you are a friend to both and they can't expect you to take sides whatsoever, it becomes much easier. I'm wise enough to not discuss stuff about one to the other. That in a way at least helps in maintaining some sanity in my own life.
When the friends expect you to choose one or the other, I just end up choosing none of them. I see a breach of friendship when such a demand is made and such a situation arises for real. I have lost out on some friends because of this; those with whom I have shared great rapport. But when it comes to such nonsensical and meaningless aspects of friendship devoid of any reasoning, it just isn't worth it for me to continue. When some things end, they herald the beginning of the end of other things around it as well.
It is not easy to find people whom you genuinely like and with whom you truly connect. And it is sad that one has to lose a lot of such people in your life in such a manner.
I have found myself in such a situation many a times. The discomfort and the weirdness is to be felt to be known. And when it gets a bit too much, I interrupt very frankly and suggest we talk about something else. Sometimes the request is complied to so very promptly that the awkwardness ends in just a matter of a minute or so. At other times it leads to a series of comments that would be targeted at me being the 'good' friend or the 'real' pal of the person concerned and how I would always advocate for rather than against him/her. I take it as it is, knowing fully that at least it would in a way put an end to the odd feeling in me.
Misunderstandings can be solved sometimes. At other times when it has escalated to a point of bitterness and intolerance nothing can be done. One then has to just cope with the bitterness, somehow or the other. Even though one would have wished for things to be otherwise, that at least both sides talked it out somehow or made an effort to clear the misunderstandings and the doubts. Sometimes it is just a wishful thinking and one can only pray at some point in time in the near or far future, things are normal again. It is strange how things concerning two people can change so much in your own life! Especially when you have had no role in the 'breaking up' of the ties. If your friends are understanding to the fact that you are a friend to both and they can't expect you to take sides whatsoever, it becomes much easier. I'm wise enough to not discuss stuff about one to the other. That in a way at least helps in maintaining some sanity in my own life.
When the friends expect you to choose one or the other, I just end up choosing none of them. I see a breach of friendship when such a demand is made and such a situation arises for real. I have lost out on some friends because of this; those with whom I have shared great rapport. But when it comes to such nonsensical and meaningless aspects of friendship devoid of any reasoning, it just isn't worth it for me to continue. When some things end, they herald the beginning of the end of other things around it as well.
It is not easy to find people whom you genuinely like and with whom you truly connect. And it is sad that one has to lose a lot of such people in your life in such a manner.
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