I WILL BE FINE...

Things could have been in order. Like the way it was done or like the way it unfolded. But it is impossible, unless one had taken the time out or actually got down to writing whatever one was feeling at that point in time. And since I haven't, whatever I write now will only be a reflection of what I feel at this moment.

So, what do I feel? I feel relieved. I feel sad. I feel happy. I feel depressed. I feel lost. I feel inspired. I feel every damn emotion there is to feel. And I have no clue how I have surpassed all these emotions in just a matter of few hours. If a film I saw moved me to tears. There has also been a song that reminded me of how uncertain and confused I can be. Then when I check my mails or read something in a blog, a different kind of emotion runs through me. There were times when I was pleasantly surprised to find a solution, quite unexpectedly, to something I had not had the time to look into. Few lines and sentences that motivated and inspired me just at the right time. Kept my hopes floating and helped me from drowning and letting it all go. Especially when I was sinking too deep into my own thoughts.

I cannot help but wonder if what we go through in life is but a series of moments that were so precisely set together like the pieces in a puzzle. And only when the pieces are coming together at a faster rate, one after the other, that one starts to sense it and wonder if life is really like a set of puzzle pieces.

With the way things have unfolded today. The way the moments came one after the other. The smooth transitions between them. The way it so effortlessly made me laugh and cry without letting me feel any contradiction or contrast whatsoever. It sure can make one wonder if the pieces were coming together quite fast, and one could somehow see the arrangement of things. Of how if one sees the signs and reads the lines, knows one's cues and takes the hints, one's life may just be set.

Of course the uncertainty and the knowledge that there can be no answer to these questions will take over again soon enough. But having lived this moment of realisation, even if it is of nothingness, makes me feel wherever I am going, I will be fine. Yes, I will be fine.

BITS N PIECES

After a long gap, it takes time to get back to anything at all. Even if it's something like blogging, which should be relatively easy since it is, after all, about what is going on in your head. Still it took me sometime to start writing again.

It has been an eventful break from blogging and everything else. Things which seemed really bleak and impossible at some point in time, did actually happen and I'm at present reaping the benefits of it. So, am I grateful or what!! :D

Coming to a new place... is never easy, especially for someone like me who takes an awful long time to adjust to the surroundings, the place and the people. But it has been relatively easy this time since my sister was here in Singapore.

How did I find the place? What did I like about it? How are things here? Well, if I remember correctly, when I landed in Singapore, I still couldn't believe that I was here. Not just because this is my officially first 'foren' trip, but because of the incidents leading up to it. What struck me about it the most was how organised it is. Everything, from the road to the trees growing on the sides, the malls, waiting for the taxis or the buses, queuing up for the tickets or food.... just about everything is so well-organised that there is no possibility of anything going wrong at all. Well, almost. For some things are beyond our control.

The humidity gets to me sometimes but it is also tolerable considering everything here is air-conditioned - the taxis, buses, malls, offices, theaters...

But recession has hit Singapore badly and it shows in the markets... dwindling job opportunities, cut in bonuses and all.. Nevertheless, something or the other is always under-construction here.. whether it's a new mall or something else... As one of the literature critics in the city said, there's hardly any poems describing the physicality of Singapore as in 'some alleys' or 'corners' of the city, for it keeps on changing topographically...

Well, I sure do hope to come back before the area I'm staying in changes its face too!