We have all gone through our share of falling in love and heartbreaks in our lives. It may be 'not-so-seriously' serious high school crushes or the infatuations we had when we were young or something completely life changing. When we look back, years later at our high school 'love affairs', we tend to look at it in a more objective way. We have the bigger picture in front us and we see how we were and how we had acted at those times; feeling stupid or completely embarrassed just by the thought of it. Or becoming all too nostalgic and wishing things were different. Whichever way, they did play an important role in shaping our future relationships, despite it being childish or silly in a way. It surely didn't seem so back then.
The plot of our love story then was simple, in a way. First we would find someone with whom we developed a connection. If we do connect well then we try to understand and figure out if it's just on a friendly level or more. Are we compatible enough on various levels? Do I see more going for it than just friendship? If the answer is yes then another hurdle on the way is to find out if the feeling is mutual. It's time for the top ten heartbreak songs, if the answer is no. Or hit the play button and listen to the classic 'falling-in-love' songs if it is yes.
Somehow relationships become a bit more complex as we grow up. The innocence of the child-like love or crushes takes a backseat as the ride gets rougher and tougher. The basis of love remains the same: To find someone whom we love and to be loved in return. The process of finding that someone and the possibility of that person returning our love become very blink as with age our priorities change, our needs differ and our expectations too undergo some changes.
There are so many different factors that affect our falling in love and what we do with that emotion in us. Sometimes we hear what it says and at other times we ignore it. Sometimes we believe in it but stop ourselves from giving it a life outside of our hearts, knowing very well it will amount to nothing at all. There are times when our own restraints and others' restrictions that lay ahead are reason enough for us to kill it right at the beginning.
And when we do love and show it as well, and we are loved in return, it may be the 'happily-ever-after' end of a fairy tale. But real life is different, that is why we feel so much more when it's real. The trials and tribulations of love never ends, not after the confession of love, not after the union or marriage, and certainly not after the first anniversary or the first child. It's a lifelong process and there are mistakes galore. How we deal with the mistakes and the shortcomings in each other is what would make the love last longer or end right at that moment of the mistake erupting into an uncompromisable difference. Whether it's infidelity or hunger for power or money or someone better or we simply fall out of love... there are too many 'more-than-happy' roadblocks during the journey. How we cross them decides how lasting our love is.
The journey sees no end in a way. Those who have never been in love, wish to fall in love. Even those who may despise the very mention of love being frustrated by the idea of not having found it. Those who have loved, wish for the love to last long enough to hear the wedding bells. And those who have exchanged their vows, long for a happy and ever-lasting married life. Those who have been married for years wish they have a great family life and their respective spouses remain faithful and in love with them always. And for those who have been married for years and have seen their children grow up, wish for the love to remain the same and to be together till the end. Many fear too that they do not fall out of love with each other. For many it is the same cycle of falling in and out of love, the heartbreaks and all, when they live those very moments through the lives of their children. Only this time they have the wisdom to share, but the youth, alas! would have no patience to hear!
We never learn to love completely. Only the love of those are complete who have ceased to live. Perhaps that is why the great love stories in every culture are of those who once lived. In death their love was complete. If they'd have lived, who knows some divorce attorney would have made huge load of money! Given that they lived in today's times, of course!
(Disclaimer: Love as discussed here refers to love of romantic nature only)
The plot of our love story then was simple, in a way. First we would find someone with whom we developed a connection. If we do connect well then we try to understand and figure out if it's just on a friendly level or more. Are we compatible enough on various levels? Do I see more going for it than just friendship? If the answer is yes then another hurdle on the way is to find out if the feeling is mutual. It's time for the top ten heartbreak songs, if the answer is no. Or hit the play button and listen to the classic 'falling-in-love' songs if it is yes.
Somehow relationships become a bit more complex as we grow up. The innocence of the child-like love or crushes takes a backseat as the ride gets rougher and tougher. The basis of love remains the same: To find someone whom we love and to be loved in return. The process of finding that someone and the possibility of that person returning our love become very blink as with age our priorities change, our needs differ and our expectations too undergo some changes.
There are so many different factors that affect our falling in love and what we do with that emotion in us. Sometimes we hear what it says and at other times we ignore it. Sometimes we believe in it but stop ourselves from giving it a life outside of our hearts, knowing very well it will amount to nothing at all. There are times when our own restraints and others' restrictions that lay ahead are reason enough for us to kill it right at the beginning.
And when we do love and show it as well, and we are loved in return, it may be the 'happily-ever-after' end of a fairy tale. But real life is different, that is why we feel so much more when it's real. The trials and tribulations of love never ends, not after the confession of love, not after the union or marriage, and certainly not after the first anniversary or the first child. It's a lifelong process and there are mistakes galore. How we deal with the mistakes and the shortcomings in each other is what would make the love last longer or end right at that moment of the mistake erupting into an uncompromisable difference. Whether it's infidelity or hunger for power or money or someone better or we simply fall out of love... there are too many 'more-than-happy' roadblocks during the journey. How we cross them decides how lasting our love is.
The journey sees no end in a way. Those who have never been in love, wish to fall in love. Even those who may despise the very mention of love being frustrated by the idea of not having found it. Those who have loved, wish for the love to last long enough to hear the wedding bells. And those who have exchanged their vows, long for a happy and ever-lasting married life. Those who have been married for years wish they have a great family life and their respective spouses remain faithful and in love with them always. And for those who have been married for years and have seen their children grow up, wish for the love to remain the same and to be together till the end. Many fear too that they do not fall out of love with each other. For many it is the same cycle of falling in and out of love, the heartbreaks and all, when they live those very moments through the lives of their children. Only this time they have the wisdom to share, but the youth, alas! would have no patience to hear!
We never learn to love completely. Only the love of those are complete who have ceased to live. Perhaps that is why the great love stories in every culture are of those who once lived. In death their love was complete. If they'd have lived, who knows some divorce attorney would have made huge load of money! Given that they lived in today's times, of course!
(Disclaimer: Love as discussed here refers to love of romantic nature only)
what u up to? beer again?! lol
ReplyDeletethis isnt much of my department but yeah, if a person dies today with "someone s/he feels possessed by those days but being totally unaware, or partially aware" while traveling in a train or something- it would be so complete of a love! and it 'll surely be published or released very soon!
what is love anyway? if it all (love and crushes and everything that we blush about when we're young) was more magical when we were kids and as we go older n older, its something that tangles its own definitions, just as we get 'more experienced', then maybe being more experienced isnt a highly paying factor in the "LOE" CV! :P
maybe you're just supposed to feel good but not so good that you completely spoil what you feel.. maybe what we get ourselves into in one of those heartbreaks or breakups is a mistake of trying to understand or 'trying to make it work'!
maybe the love god gets pissed totally when you break the rules mentioned in The Secret Document (only a cult knows about it; all happily-in-love people aren't regular people, they're worse than vampires; but these people are so good in PRs that they're all over the books and films and tv serials; its a fricken epidemic): -
* Just feel what you have and dont try to be smart!
* Understanding and feeling too good is never gonna happen! If a licensed lover is caught violating this, the license 'll be torn and burnt to ashes!
* Do not TRY! If its naturally good, its fine.. The moment you try, you're doomed!
* IF you feel you feel more than your lover feels, you're doomed again!!
* Finally, do not sit down either and let the love god handle it all- in such a case you 'll never be issued a license ever again!
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these are necessary to live out of books and play a character yourself, but all the rule breaker lovers- ARE THE ONES IN LOVE STORIES! and only they can manage to be part of the happy endings! ;)
boi! there goes your post for the blog!! actually you can post it if you will! :)
ReplyDeletelove discussion is bound to take a lot of space, time and thoughts... for every one has loved... but not one can tell for sure the know-how of 'getting-it-right' kinda love!!
perhaps it is this factor that makes loving seem such a task and such natural play of emotions too...
hope our discussion doesn't irk the love god and forfeits us from having our license.. :P
Definitely a thought-provoking one... as is Sunny's response to the post. Makes for a great read but all the same I tend to disagree.
ReplyDelete"In death, their love was complete."
Herein lies the rub... death makes the idea of love more complete (like the fairytales where the princes and princesses were willing to die for one another as opposed to the modern live role models who are willing to kill each other for love).. yet, it is only true, limitless love that can withstand the test of time.
Coming back to the subject of 'complete' love, like I heard somewhere it is undying process. I wonder if you spared a thought that death doesn't complete love, it actually ends it!