SWEET DREAMS ARE NOT REAL

When everything seems right, beware because something wrong is lurking around the corner, waiting for that opportune time when you'd have let go of your guard and thought nothing can go wrong. That's what happened to me today. The day began as usual, a little dreamy-eyed, a little lazy and a little late.

As the preparations for the new day set off, I could feel a sense of possibilities around me. I was happy and satisfied with the preparation of the day before, having learned from my mistakes. Things went smoothly. Laughter and smile spread all around with the dreams of the far away land. Alas! yielded to the sweetness of the unseen future all too soon.

So, it's a lesson well learned. A lesson to remind me of how things can get really messy and how screwed up it can make you feel. A lesson that was not easy to learn and will certainly be anything but easy to forget! A lesson, while on its way, gave me three days of hell and perhaps some scars as a testimony of my ignorance in the first place.

Sweet dreams are just not real. For dreams are never sweet. They are intangible and tasteless.

A LITTLE PATIENCE...

To not react instantly... to let it all sink in... to not avoid oneself from feeling frustrated and angry, but to not let it overrule one's sense of wisdom... and what is right and what is wrong... to not let a few moments ruin the hard work of long tiring days...

To go about one's daily routine... like one always did.. eat, sleep, listen to music, watch TV... to not make it hamper with the way life runs... to accept disappointments as a part of life... to not give it any special attention... to work things out slowly and surely as one gets to know it... to know the 'Whys' and 'Hows' and act accordingly...

The things a little patience can do! Let you feel calm and composed... stop you from making hasty mistakes... keep you from wandering off to the regret land...

Even though it seems to be doing its job perfectly well, the little patience in me, may soon lose all its patience if the new day brought no hope and kept no promises... After all like everything else, with time patience wears out too...

A FLICKER OF HOPE... JUST A FLICKER...

A flicker of hope is just that.. a 'flicker' of hope... after it is done flickering what is left is nothing but hopelessness and despair...

And as Benjamin wished for the inter-connected, inter-related events in the human lives to have connected and related just a few seconds earlier or a few seconds later in order for Daisy to have been saved... I too can't help but wish for things to have unfolded and curled back in, just a few seconds earlier or later than it actually did... then I would have said the hope was not just a 'flicker' but ever-burning light of my life...

But things are just the way they are... no matter how we run through it again and again and no matter how we try to picture it to be anything else but the way they are now..

So, raise a toast to a flicker that is still burning.. and to the hope that it may lit up again... soon... before the darkness consumes me...

BREAKDOWN OF A SAD SONG

They say it helps to break down... to let go of your feelings.. to surrender to them... Well, I just broke down. And it is not helping at all. All it is doing is making me feel empty inside... neither has the pain subsided, nor have the problems been solved.

All the silver-linings I could have, have proved to be no signs of the sunlight but another hint of the heavy downpour of problems coming my way! And to just realise how I never carry an umbrella, makes me smile wryly at my troubles... Any other day I'd have played in the rain, singing a song.. But today, the songs of the rain are sad.. a sad pitter-patter of a heart in sorrow and despair... unlike Gene Kelly's who sang a happy tune, hopping around in the rain!

So, come pour down on me when you are done playing with me... and I'll do my playing then. Till then the sad song continues...

TWO DAYS OF HELL... AND CONTINUING...

The last two days have been harrowing to say the least... all that could possibly go wrong has gone WRONG... and it continues to do so.. A certain sign of goodwill or hope is dashed away right then and there. I have heard and also believe that life is unpredictable. But the way it unfolds sometimes just blows my mind away.

Making an effort - it counts. But when it starts to bear no fruit, it is very, very disheartening! And what really adds to it all is the fact the people fail to understand you at just the crucial moments. Having had so much in my mind in these past 48 hours, it was hard to keep a track of other things of equal importance.. missing a call, forgetting to update about yourself, not giving either enough time or thought to certain other plans.. And despite all efforts to get things back on track, nothing seems to work out... and nothing achieved at all.. except for resentments from family and friends...

If life can make one to hate it, despise it and start regretting it, then I'm sure heading towards that road.. and how fast and swiftly!!!