How To Get Yourself Bitten By A Dog

Instruction Manual:

* Have a look that says you are drunk tired
* Make sure you are late from work the night before
* Hold nothing in your hands
* Carry a huge bag full of nothings
* Walk stealthily like a thief
* Act as you don't see the dog
* Hum an old forgettable classic
* Ignore the dog and carry on with your business

I did just that, and that's how I got bitten by a dog! You don't need to follow the instructions to the 'T'. Try and be more innovative and creative. Know and read the dog's mind, which social strata the dog belongs to, what kind of people would he be interested in biting, go to that place where you would qualify as the ideal target, visualise what kind of activities you need to be doing to attract the dog's unwanted attention, make sure whatever you do is a bite-led activity, the first interaction is crucial in order to generate the curiosity in a dog to actually waste his crucial bite on you, ask yourself the question 'If you were a dog what would make you bite yourself?'

And when you do get yourself bitten don't run from the site, just act stupid and still for a second or two, then keep walking as if nothing happened. After walking a while, flash that victorious smile on your face for having achieved your goal and actually making the dog believe that it was his own doing. And if he regrets biting you, it would be his guilt and nothing would be bugging your conscience. So, what's stopping you? Go and get a bite!