Faking Life!

"I am looking at you and though it speaks nothing good about you, it does make me feel good that I can at least see clearly the lines time is drawing so generously on your brows. It's depressing to see the sorry state of affairs you are in. What a mess you have made out of your life. You must envy me, don't you? Still looking good and still popular. I bet you wish you had a life like mine! In your dreams, buddy! In your dreams!"

So, spoke a man one late morning, looking at the image of a man approaching his thirties in the mirror. It wasn't denial to him. It was his best defense mechanism against feeling pity or regret or guilt. What would acceptance reveal to him? There was too much hidden behind those eyes that had seen so much already. All the wrong choices would surface. All that was lost would come calling for few more tears from him and heart full of regrets would follow.All the dreams followed halfheartedly would complain of his lack of perseverance and faith in them. He knew he was more pitiable than those who lived life without making any attempts to hide their miseries. At least they were honest. He didn't have the courage to either accept his mistakes and take responsibility or face the consequences. However, feigning ignorance to it all added another day of hope to his life. It gave him the strength to live on and face the world again. It was the only way he had learned to survive. It was his only chance of starting anew, with a clean slate.

Confident and assured he would step out of his house. Long strides and a smile on his face. But a sinking feeling would occasionally make him go weak in the knees. He knew it was all a facade to cover up a meaningless existence he lead in the name of life.