Things could have been in order. Like the way it was done or like the way it unfolded. But it is impossible, unless one had taken the time out or actually got down to writing whatever one was feeling at that point in time. And since I haven't, whatever I write now will only be a reflection of what I feel at this moment.
So, what do I feel? I feel relieved. I feel sad. I feel happy. I feel depressed. I feel lost. I feel inspired. I feel every damn emotion there is to feel. And I have no clue how I have surpassed all these emotions in just a matter of few hours. If a film I saw moved me to tears. There has also been a song that reminded me of how uncertain and confused I can be. Then when I check my mails or read something in a blog, a different kind of emotion runs through me. There were times when I was pleasantly surprised to find a solution, quite unexpectedly, to something I had not had the time to look into. Few lines and sentences that motivated and inspired me just at the right time. Kept my hopes floating and helped me from drowning and letting it all go. Especially when I was sinking too deep into my own thoughts.
I cannot help but wonder if what we go through in life is but a series of moments that were so precisely set together like the pieces in a puzzle. And only when the pieces are coming together at a faster rate, one after the other, that one starts to sense it and wonder if life is really like a set of puzzle pieces.
With the way things have unfolded today. The way the moments came one after the other. The smooth transitions between them. The way it so effortlessly made me laugh and cry without letting me feel any contradiction or contrast whatsoever. It sure can make one wonder if the pieces were coming together quite fast, and one could somehow see the arrangement of things. Of how if one sees the signs and reads the lines, knows one's cues and takes the hints, one's life may just be set.
Of course the uncertainty and the knowledge that there can be no answer to these questions will take over again soon enough. But having lived this moment of realisation, even if it is of nothingness, makes me feel wherever I am going, I will be fine. Yes, I will be fine.
So, what do I feel? I feel relieved. I feel sad. I feel happy. I feel depressed. I feel lost. I feel inspired. I feel every damn emotion there is to feel. And I have no clue how I have surpassed all these emotions in just a matter of few hours. If a film I saw moved me to tears. There has also been a song that reminded me of how uncertain and confused I can be. Then when I check my mails or read something in a blog, a different kind of emotion runs through me. There were times when I was pleasantly surprised to find a solution, quite unexpectedly, to something I had not had the time to look into. Few lines and sentences that motivated and inspired me just at the right time. Kept my hopes floating and helped me from drowning and letting it all go. Especially when I was sinking too deep into my own thoughts.
I cannot help but wonder if what we go through in life is but a series of moments that were so precisely set together like the pieces in a puzzle. And only when the pieces are coming together at a faster rate, one after the other, that one starts to sense it and wonder if life is really like a set of puzzle pieces.
With the way things have unfolded today. The way the moments came one after the other. The smooth transitions between them. The way it so effortlessly made me laugh and cry without letting me feel any contradiction or contrast whatsoever. It sure can make one wonder if the pieces were coming together quite fast, and one could somehow see the arrangement of things. Of how if one sees the signs and reads the lines, knows one's cues and takes the hints, one's life may just be set.
Of course the uncertainty and the knowledge that there can be no answer to these questions will take over again soon enough. But having lived this moment of realisation, even if it is of nothingness, makes me feel wherever I am going, I will be fine. Yes, I will be fine.
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