THE 'RIGHT' TIME...

When is it the right time to do anything at all? Is there any such thing as the 'right' time? If there is then is there like a 'right' time for every thing and is it different for different things? We are often in a dilemma over when it's the right time to do something or the other. Should we call a friend or sms now or later or maybe some other day? Should we apply for the course this year or wait another year? Should we tell our friend about what has been bugging us about him/her all this while? Should I quit now even though I have nothing in hand as of now or should I get something going and then leave? Should I convey my love or maybe perhaps give it a little more time and get to know the person?

I doubt if there ever is the right time to do or say anything at all. It is only when we have done or said some things and they have proved rewarding that we believe it was the right time to have done those very things. Our mind registers our actions and what all occurred en route to their success. Perhaps that's how we form the probability of a thing being right for us or not given identical circumstances in the future again. I believe it's more to do with our gut feeling. It doesn't necessarily have to be the feeling in our hearts that tells us this is the right time, the right moment and the right thing to do. For even with all the heart-speak, there are times when we lack in confidence and have nervous-feeling about the things. So, in these moments it is what we decide to do at that particular moment, the gut feeling inside of us, which makes us do those things.

But there's nothing like a well-aligned heart, mind and the instinct, all saying it is the right thing and the right time to do it. Then the decision have a sure-shot chance of being the 'right' one for that moment. Why for that moment only? Because I believe there can never be an absolute 'right' or 'wrong' thing. Several factors influence the 'rightness' or 'wrongness' of a thing. Whether it is the socially or universally unacceptable or the morally incorrect or against humanity or whatever, there are many things that decide what is right and what is wrong. It is never a single thing. For every individual is different and their thought-process, their environment at home or at work, the circumstances are different. So, with different situation and different times, something that is 'right' may seem completely 'wrong' too.

The point is, no matter what it is, it all comes down to the individual level. So, it is only you and you only who knows if it is the 'right' time for you to do what you feel is 'right' to you. After that, you have to take up responsibility for it whether it turns out 'right' or 'wrong' later on. Stand up to it and never look back. It's like the line from Tokyo Drift, 'You make choices in your life and never look back'.

KEEPING IT SHORT!

Something about shorts... not the shorts we can wear. Although even that's something I am very much for in this Summer. Short stories... short films... an advertisement or a music video... or poems... there's something about saying so much in so little time or in few words... that just appeals to me a lot. Poems are something I have been writing for a very long time since my adolescent years. Even in this form, I have always been fascinated by short poems, saying it all in four lines or so yet not letting it seem incomplete. Here's a short poem I wrote long time back:

'Your Touch'
A thousand words you could have said...
How could they have compared?
For you eased my heart and
comforted my soul...
in just a single touch of yours...

Lately, I have been trying my hands at short stories. The first few attempts were okay-okay. Some were a disaster to say the least. Some I greatly liked. But being my own works it will be difficult for me to be objective about them. And thanks to friends who make my life easier or difficult depending on how you see criticism and the work that follows the criticism. Sometimes it doesn't take much time at all to write a story. But it takes a lot more of time and effort to rewrite or make amends in a story. I found it so difficult to do even in my work, especially when I would have to go through others' work and make changes or corrections. I feel it becomes a lot easier to write it on your own, when you can't make sense out of the written piece in front of you. When its a piece by a friend it becomes ever so hard to do so. That is when I either sent it across to the big boss or try and make the changes along with the person so that the idea doesn't get affected by all the changes.

I haven't really tried my hands at ad films or short films yet. Someday I will. But for now let's discuss at least those that I have liked since my growing up years. I was becoming all too nostalgic about Doordarshan sometime back, searching for old ads on youtube and remembering the names of the serials we watched along with Sunny, a very close friend of mine. The whole day was spent in front of the computer. 'Baje Sargam' or 'Mile Sur Mera Tumhara' have become synonymous with my growing up years and for many others as well. The plethora of stars coming together or the faces of common people spanning the whole country, these music videos are a standard and a testimony to an era altogether. 'Ek Anek' was among the first lengthy songs I memorised by heart and would sing along with it, together with my sister. The concept was great. The weaving of the story in between, the pigeons, the bird-catcher and the rats.

We also juggled our minds to remember some of the best ads we had ever seen as well. National Literacy Mission has some really good ads like 'Purab se surya uga...' a catchy tune sung by Kavita Krishnamurthy.. and more recently, the 'School chale hum..' song-ad which I heard on radio first then later saw it on TV. It's special to me for personal reason. I had spent some of my best days with my mom at a relative's house where we'd listen to this ad every morning. Even Shubha Mudgal rendered song, 'Sapna Dekha Hai Maine..' , an endeavour by Amity Humanity Foundation for the education of the underprivileged girl child, is remarkable to say the least. The music was given by Shantanu Moitra and lyrics penned by Prasoon Joshi. Sample this:

"Mausam gulaal leke darwaze mere aaye..
misri si baat hawayein kano mein keh jaaye..
badal ke ruee wale takiya liye sirhaane,
daadi ki thapki aur kisse naye puraane...

kala tika mathe pe pyar se koi lagaaye...
mujhko bhi nayi shararat karna koi sikhaaye...
mera khoya sa bachpan koi wapas laaye...
mere bhi naam ko chhota karke koi bulaaye...

sapna dekha hai maine...
maine bhi dekha hai sapna...
sapna dekha hai maine...
maine dekha sapna..."

Talking about ads, it's impossible to forget the Cadbury's Dairy Milk's ad with the girlfriend of a cricketer running towards her lover as he hits a 6, while doing a little jig on the field with the theme song, 'Kuch Khaas Hai, Zindagi Mein...' playing in the background. And Bajaj became a household name with the slogan 'Hamara Bajaj', weaving the thread of progress in keeping with the spirit of the Indian family, in a developing India.

In the recent past, Vodafone's erstwhile Hutch's ads are simply innovative. Something one would want to watch rather than flip the channels. From its adorable pug to Zoozoo... innovation never seems to stop for them. Fevicol's ads are a tradmark too. I especially remember the 'pakde rehna, chhodna nahin..' one! Amul milk's ads have been good since childhood days. I loved the song, 'Doodh, doodh, doodh, doodh..' Raymond's ads were classic. The class reunion and a gift for the teacher, was really touching. Airtel too had some great ones. HDFC's 'sone ke daat' or 'the son and dad' ads were endearing. There are many others but just these are coming to my mind as of now.

As for short films, haven't seen many of them. I have seen short films on television, the ones where it's either a reality show with a bunch of contestants coming up with a short film every week or the social service films. The most recent I remember were the shorts by different filmmakers for Mira Nair's AIDS Jaago (AIDS Awake) project. I specially loved director and now actor-cum-singer also, Farhan Akhtar's short 'Positive'. It was really touching, very sensitively told. Other shorts in the series were 'Blood Brothers' by Vishal Bhardwaj, 'Prarambha' by Santosh Sivan, 'Migration' by Mira Nair. Then there are those few that I have checked out on the net or seen at a film festival, which normally doesn't happen that often.

I guess my fascination with shorts is simply because life is too short. And when you know life is too short why would you waste it with the unwanted and unnecessary details? It's better to cut to the point and say it precisely, but without making it sound or feel any less significant or effective. It has to be short but not pointless or random. There still has to be some sense in it. Moreover, doesn't take much to be nonsensical. I'm that most of the times. So, keeping it short and sensical is the aim.

............................

update: just saw some of the most powerful ads I have seen in recent times... Thai life insurance ads.. really touching.. beautifully shot... this one is titled, 'My Son'.. click here for the video, with eng subs click here. Another one is titled, 'Daddy'.. moved me to tears... and another one titled, 'My Girl'... then there's 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa'... I am just blown away by the concept, the video, but most importantly by the emotions that they so effortlessly instill in us... Looking at these ads, all I can do is, apart from controlling my emotions, hope to be able to do such beautiful work...

THE NEED FOR SPEED

For the most part life runs slow... there isn't much hurry to do anything at all. It's more like the day dawns with the sluggishness of a snail.. gets out of bed like a sloth moving from one branch to the other... gets going, out and about like a caterpillar crawling on a leaf... and falls into the depth of sleep like a leech falling off after having sucked enough blood from the flesh... When the beauty of the slow life gets a wee bit annoying, the thirst for speed takes control. Sometimes all we need is speed. Speed of thoughts and actions... speed of execution and not just of initialization... To make things happen and not just wait for it to unfold on its own. To seize all the opportunities that you have been waiting for with great precision.

But speed kills too. What could be worse than to be so near something you always wanted to achieve and die right at the threshold of achieving it? So, then it is not just speed that is the need, rather controlled speed, where the speed is not controlling us but we are controlling the speed of our lives; where it zooms real fast and where it takes a slow turn. To be one's own master. And when it is but a long yet 'over-too-all-soon' life, we can only measure its worth in the moments where we mastered our destinies.. our roads and our lives... It may just be 10 secs, but to live fully in those 10 secs.. In Dominic's or Dom's words, 'I live my life a quarter mile at a time.. nothing else matters.. for those 10 secs or less.. I am free...'

It's always better to live a life that is free even if it's for less... a long caged life can be no life at all, can it? Maybe it depends on how we define being free.. then again.. can we ever be free of everything.. perhaps that's why we are and feel free in those 10 secs when there is nothing holding us back.. nothing else bothering our minds or tugging at our hearts.. just speeding through!!

AN AFTERNOON DELIGHT!

It seemed like a day-dream of sorts. It was hard to believe more so since I had been going in and out of sleep with such ease of transition that it was hard to differentiate between what was really 'real' and what was a 'dream'. So, the first sign of the rain seemed like a dream to me. I had to rush out to confirm if it really was.

The humidity had made the days worse in the past few days. It had become unbearable to an extend that one just had to be out of the house for a minute and soon enough all the pores in the body would start oozing out the undesirable fluid. Did it help to have a handkerchief or some tissues at hand? No, it doesn't help much when just a single wipe can leave the material soaking wet through and through.

Today was no different. The fan did its duty but it failed to bring about the same effect that it once did. The heat and the humidity soon enough induced a short but deep sleep. And it seemed as long as ever. People were walking about and having their laughs and conversations.. and it seemed I was there witnessing it all but from a distant. Were they real conversations or did I just imagined them in my dream again? I can't be certain of it.

I finally woke up to the sound of my friend saying 'It's raining'.. half-asleep and half-awake.. I somehow managed to rush out of the house. No, it wasn't raining at all! He told me to go out in the open and feel it. It did rain a little. And I did manage to feel the drops on my body, as sparse and few as they were. At least now, the day was not the same anymore even if it didn't rain to my heart's content or enough to wet the tiles of the floor.

Just a minute change is needed sometimes when one has been in a routine for a long time, and with no hope of getting out of it, to make things seem better. And even though the expected shower never did pour, it had changed the day from a mundane and humid one to a delightful one. It was surely an 'afternoon delight'.

STUCK BETWEEN ERSTWHILE FRIENDS...

If you have different set of friends and some of them don't get along all too well, it becomes difficult to 'coordinate' your schedule. And specially when you are in good terms with all of them, it is hard to detach yourself from the conversations that may turn harsh or rude in some way or the other. No matter if the arguments or the comments are justified, the position you find yourself in is awkward to say the least. It is like you find excuses to be out of the conversation or to give out any reaction. How do you react? I have no clue whatsoever. I tend to move about here and there if I have the freedom of space around me. In case we are all seating in a restaurant or a place like that, then it is somewhat hard to do so. It is in such a situation that it is hard to hide your discomfort. The best you can do is to hope that the conversation ends soon and you don't have to bear the torture for long.

I have found myself in such a situation many a times. The discomfort and the weirdness is to be felt to be known. And when it gets a bit too much, I interrupt very frankly and suggest we talk about something else. Sometimes the request is complied to so very promptly that the awkwardness ends in just a matter of a minute or so. At other times it leads to a series of comments that would be targeted at me being the 'good' friend or the 'real' pal of the person concerned and how I would always advocate for rather than against him/her. I take it as it is, knowing fully that at least it would in a way put an end to the odd feeling in me.

Misunderstandings can be solved sometimes. At other times when it has escalated to a point of bitterness and intolerance nothing can be done. One then has to just cope with the bitterness, somehow or the other. Even though one would have wished for things to be otherwise, that at least both sides talked it out somehow or made an effort to clear the misunderstandings and the doubts. Sometimes it is just a wishful thinking and one can only pray at some point in time in the near or far future, things are normal again. It is strange how things concerning two people can change so much in your own life! Especially when you have had no role in the 'breaking up' of the ties. If your friends are understanding to the fact that you are a friend to both and they can't expect you to take sides whatsoever, it becomes much easier. I'm wise enough to not discuss stuff about one to the other. That in a way at least helps in maintaining some sanity in my own life.

When the friends expect you to choose one or the other, I just end up choosing none of them. I see a breach of friendship when such a demand is made and such a situation arises for real. I have lost out on some friends because of this; those with whom I have shared great rapport. But when it comes to such nonsensical and meaningless aspects of friendship devoid of any reasoning, it just isn't worth it for me to continue. When some things end, they herald the beginning of the end of other things around it as well.

It is not easy to find people whom you genuinely like and with whom you truly connect. And it is sad that one has to lose a lot of such people in your life in such a manner.

RED AND WHITE

If you thought the post is going to be about the Red and White bravery awards then sorry to disappoint you, it is not. The Red and White here do stand for the colours, but in which forms and in what context is what I am going to discuss here. I should probably go about it chronologically, after all that is the acceptable order almost every time. But I feel different and experimental now so I will start in reverse order.

Red had made its impact on me about a month ago. It came to me at a time when I had given up on ever finding it, no matter if it was on borrowed time. Now, holding it in my hands for real, knowing it won't be returned or held by thousands of other hands gives me a sheer high. To receive something you have longed and searched for, in the form of a gift is a humbling experience. It's a reaffirmation of your faith that if you truly want some things, they surely do come true. Honesty of the wish and the believe in its realisation can do wonders.

Orhan Pamuk had introduced himself to me when he was delivering his speech, emotional and soul-stirring. He struck me deep somewhere inside of me. It irked me. I felt he was intruding my personal space. I had since then avoided looking through him. However it is not to say that he didn't intrigue me. He did. Enormously. That's one reason why I have gone around snooping through his creations. Now to finally own one gives me an immense high! I do realise that it would mean much more and would be truer if I dealt with what had struck and irked me about him and learned a lesson or two from it. Then perhaps I'll be able to write something that's even a fraction as fine and as remarkable as 'My Name Is Red'.

White had a different purpose altogether. It wasn't known to me personally just like Red wasn't but unlike Red I had not been in the quest to find it. It came to me just like that. I was glad I had it's company to keep me light-headed and in an entertaining mode through my first experience of a book launch. Did I say a book launch? Well, better not to go there. First impression was trying to make an impression out of the experience. A restro-bar filled with literati or wannabe literati all with their backs to the entrance. A female and a male voice could be heard in conversation inside the overtly congested room, which welcomed another three souls, vying for a space to stand proper. After the initial feeling of disorientation, things started to make some sense. And the voices found their faces as well. A short-haired, thin woman of average height dressed elegantly in a saree, the author of the book being launched, was in conversation with a bespectacled, french bearded thin man in a blazer (in this summer??), an already published and renowned author. Their conversation was brief, followed by a reading from her book. And then the bar was thrown open. So, White wine it was for me following my friend's choice. It was succeeded by an orange juice and then by a pineapple juice with several servings of snacks in between each sip.

White made the head a little breezy or dizzy, whichever way seemed apt for you. Its help was not needed for words to flow but it did led to better reactions. The three heads had some trouble with their respective heads, which made the conversation all the more interesting. It would be about less than an hour later, when the three would be laughing and talking better sense than what prevailed at that moment. And Red would lay waiting at some corner of a narrow lane, before coming to me.

SLEEP'S SWEET EMBRACE

A sleepy morning is not really the best way to begin your day. But when the sleep is long overdue, it may be the only remedy to cure the morning of its inauspicious start, eh? A nocturnal being can hardly keep his eyes open in the morning. Not that he hasn't slept but the sleep was broken in pieces too early for the sun to rise and too late for the lullaby. It's a wait for the sleep to walk right back into the drowsy and dreamy rooms, weave some dreams if day-dreaming is allowed and ring the warning bell before the day's over. Still no sign of it, as yet. I'll wait and see who wins, the sleepy legged being or the worn-out master in waiting.

What all was achieved in the meantime? Surely the hours in between must have been surreal to say the least; to not be awake completely but to not dream away either. Did the consciousness lose its control and slide down into the sub-conscious? Or are you as normally aware of everything around you as you would in a normal state of being awake? You do know who am I, don't know? I have spoken to you several times, more so on this very topic. I have been keeping a track of your actions and behaviour during this state of your mind for many years now. You always seem to forget, I know you more than you do yourself.

Played well with words in the meantime. Tired my eyes and my body looking at some random stories of a high school boy who wasn't at all cool but managed to succeed in the end somehow since he wasn't really a fool. Walked again through the terrain of love, lost and found again. Some wisdom that slowly arrived and some mistakes that swiftly passed by. All in all, I have done enough to tire myself waiting for the sleep to come. If only it knew, punctuality can be a virtue as well. I cannot blame it though, for it has lost too much out of time.

I'm hoping as I narrate this tale to you, it reads me or hears me out and comes running to me. Togetherness is always better than tiresome loneliness. Hope to see you soon. When you do, try and make no noise at all. Don't utter a word or produce a sound. Come to me silently and lull me in your sweet embrace.